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Huge archive of jokes and funny pictures everything is categorized. You can find here jokes about blondes, men, women, computers, political, religous and many more! |
| Ten
Things You'll never hear a man say |
10. Here honey, you use the remote.
9. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts
are just too big.
8. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie
I gotta see!
7. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
6. Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will
you go to the wallpaper store with me?
5. Sex isn't that important; sometimes, I just want to
be held.
4. Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick
out a pair of shoes?
3. Aww, forget Monday night football, Let's watch Melrose
Place.
2. Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.
1. We never talk anymore |
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| Ten
Things You'll never hear a woman say |
10. What do you mean today's
our anniversary?
9. Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just
watch TV.
8. Ohh, this diamond ring is way too big!!
7. And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
6. Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm
tired of being "just friends".
5. Honey, does this outfit make my butt look too small?
4. Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be
able to figure out how to get there.
3. Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.
2. I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much
for a designer dress.
1. Hey, pull my finger! |
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| Blind
Date |
| A young playboy took a blind
date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the
Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked.
"I wanna be weighed," she said.
So the young man took her over to the weight guesser.
"One-twelve," said the man at the scale,
and he was absolutely right. Next they rode the roller
coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and
cotton candy, then he asked what else she would like
to do.
"I wanna be weighed," she said.
He really latched onto a square one tonight, thought
the young man, and using the excuse he had developed
a headache, he took the girl home. The girl's mother
was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, "What's
wrong, dear, didn't you have a nice time tonight?"
"Wousy," said the girl. |
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Vengence
Is Mine!
|
| One day a construction worker
left the job a little early, and when he got home he found
his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he
hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage where
he proceeded to secure his dick in a vice. Utterly terrified,
the man screamed, "Stop, stop! you're not going to
cut it off, are you? ARE YOU?" "Nope,"
replied the construction worker, "You are...I'm going
to set the garage on fire." |
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